If you're like me, you can't get enough of those tender delicious fast food chicken sandwiches, you love to pour your hard-earned patriotic dollars into causes that say it straight and traditional about American values, and you hate fags. But not everyone has a Chick-Fil-A near you! What to do?
Well, we've heard your cry. Come on down to one of our conveniently-located locations to satisfy that God-fearing Chicken-Loving Christian urge! Bite into the newest fundamentalist taste sensation: our new Chicken McBigotry Sandwich. One hot, white, juicy all-breast patty of delicious chicken, either baked up hot and healthy for the ladies watching their figure, or battered and crisp-fried to a golden decadence for the men, also watching their ladies' figure, but solely for the goal of procreation as seen through the sanctified eyes of the blessed union of holy matrimony: one man. One woman. And one chicken sandwich.
Either way you order it, you get it seasoned with our Secret Rub of spices and herbs, and slapped onto a pert, waiting bun, loaded up with crisp lettuce, red ripe tomato, and white tangy dressing for a chicken-y delicious taste sensation that your mouth won't be able to get a big enough bite of. Sized just right for a woman's appetite! And men? If I may be so bold, a touch of gluttony now and then for the sake of a good cause is no sin. Surely for the healthy, red-blooded appetites of an upstanding Christian man, one breast can't be enough to satisfy. Better make it a pair: one Double-Chicken McBigotry to go, please! There you are.
Ladies, you know you want this chicken sandwich. It's an all-natural celebration of the way God intended lunch to be: and at $2.99, it's a celebration of value, as well as values! Bite into something that sends the right message to the community, and to the nation. Men - what do you want in your mouth? A dick? Or a delicious crispy chicken sandwich. Go ahead. Send a moral message. Take a big man-sized bite, and look around at who's watching. They know what sandwich this is. And every bite you take of it, righteously, standing before God and in the eyes of the world - that's a bite that says: "I choose chicken - not dick - to fill my mouth."
Try the new Chicken McBigotry Sandwich! Available now for a limited time, only at participating franchises.
6 comments:
Huh. Where's the damn notice?
There isn't any notice. The comment form is supposed to display a notice!
Anybody else getting a notice? Maybe as chief bloggerino up in heah, I'm skipped on the notice AND the word verification.
Well, either way: whatever.
Comment should not be empty
This stinks! I can't get my comment form text to display. People will never see my important disclaimer, that Blogger.com and Blogspot.com are not responsible for the content of your comment!
Oh, shit. It's at the bottom - below the form.
Well, that's dumb. Maybe I need to reconfigure it to pop the comment form out?
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